Galaxy Cauldron

When it rains, the it pours -- dolls

2009-08-31T05:57:59Z

Why is it, now that I am in the limbo of waiting to find out whether or not I won Sasara from the Volks lottery, that a host of other dolls I am seriously interested in getting decide to appear?

Of course, I have been eyeballing Summer Term Marguerite from Rosette for quite some time now. When the Summer Term girls came out, my original debate was between Fir and Marguerite. Fir was definitely the right choice for me -- but Marguerite is still terribly tempting. Do I want two Rosettes so soon?

Or do I want Wake-Up Goldie from Peakswood? Beth, my regular Goldie, is one of my favorite dolls. I really adore her. And I adore dreaming dolls. So a dreaming Goldie? Oh yes. Very yes. I will own Wake-Up Goldie eventually. But now... or later?

Enter the third contender! Yaoyue from Oasisdoll is GORGEOUS. Look at that long, lean body! I love slender girls (see my love of Rosette). And her face is so sweet. She's absolutely charming. I know I should probably stay away, since my history with open-eyed dolls isn't too great, but still... so cute.

Of course, none of this matters if I win Sasara, now does it?

Wednesdayplzbherealreadykthnxbai.

If you read DoA...

2009-08-21T20:18:38Z

I'd like to draw your attention to this thread: http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=318011

Here's the post I was about to make... just as the thread was locked:

I feel so sad for the moderators, for whom the upkeep of this forum is already a massive undertaking, and who have added onto that leviathan task the responsibilities of organizing and overseeing a variety of anniversary activities well beyond what I have seen any other forum even attempt to offer, who now have to sign on and see this thread comparing their actions to those taken by religious extremists and communists. There are so many better ways to voice a complaint such as this one.

It smacks of hypocrisy to complain the mods are not acting like professionals while you are behaving in such an unprofessional way; to complain that you do not like way they are donating their time and energy to handling this massive forum while you are participating in and enjoying the benefits of that same forum for free; to complain about their lack of communication while your own communication consists of calling things "idiotic" and "lame;" to complain that they are not using good judgment when your own judgment sees no issue with comparing the closing of a single thread on a doll forum to mass human rights violations committed by foreign governments?

Even if you had a valid argument, the manner in which you chose to convey your opinion is beyond insulting. I can tell you that if you attempted such behavior on Bad Dolly Deals, the moderators would not be discussing how best to answer you -- we would be discussing whether or not to merely warn you, or to outright ban you. The fact that the moderators here are reacting as calmly and patiently as they are is a testament to the fact that they are, in fact, EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD MODERATORS.

-----

Anyone have anything else they'd post, if the thread hadn't been locked?

Now THIS is awesome customer service (and yogurt)

2009-08-01T03:25:17Z

As you all know, Rosette's customer service has been driving me batty. Today I received a package from Rosette. What did it contain? A replacement faceplate, for the one that arrived damaged? No. The correct shoes, since they originally sent me the wrong ones? No. The correct eyes, since they also sent me the wrong ones? No. A pair of cream-colored tights, which I never asked for, which I already have a pair of? Yes. Tights. WTF?!

Just as I was beginning to think customer service had died, I received the most awesome email. A few days ago, I had e-mailed Dannon Yogurt to tell them how much I liked their new watermelon flavor (it's awesome, btw, go try it) and how I hoped it would become a permanent flavor (it's advertised as seasonal). I usually eat a cup of yogurt & bran buds (sounds awful, is awesome) every single day, so I love when there are new flavors -- variety makes me happy. Non-traditional (not berry, banana, or vanilla) makes me even happier.

Well super-awesome Dannon actually replied! And it wasn't a generic "thank you for your comments" reply, it was a specific tailored reply thanking me for my input on the watermelon flavor. And they're sending me coupons! I didn't even ask for any, and it's not like I was a complaining customer who needed soothing. They're just sending coupons because they are full of WIN! OM NOM NOM. I'm going to go eat a watermelon yogurt in celebration.

(Note that this is not only a contrast to Rosette's fuck-around-the-rosey customer service, but also Yoplait, whose yogurt I will NEVER buy again. I got a batch of strawberry yogurt that tasted like rotting fruit, and I wrote them a letter about how disappointed I was, because I had eaten Yoplait almost exclusively up to this point, and usually their quality control was better. They wrote back and were essentially "not our fault, fruit flavors can vary depending n the season, here's two coupons, now shut up" and I switched to buying Dannon the next day.)

Dannon = 1
Rosette = 0
Yoplait = 0

Mass Photo Dump 2 of 2

2009-07-24T03:57:48Z

The continuation (and completion) of the mass photo dump! Again, I know I like the first photo (and actually the second), but my brain is too fried to process any more than that. Help, please? Tell me what to post to DoA!

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

And that's the end! Thanks!

Mass Photo Dump 1 of 2

2009-07-24T03:48:57Z

I apologize in advance for the mass photo dump, but my brain is too fried to cut them down any further... I think some of them are borderline crap/okay, tbh. All I know is I like this first one! I would really appreciate if you guys would let me know your favorites, and I'll post the top 5-10 on DoA.

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

Continued in the next post, too!

Doll Scales

2009-07-14T16:01:36Z

This was deleted off of DoA, but in case you have trouble understanding scales (mathematical ratios), here it is for you:

1:3 = 1 inch in the model is 3 inches in the real world, the units are the SAME (also, 1in:3in is the same as 1cm:3cm and the same as 1ft:3ft, as long as the units before and after the colon are the same, you can use 1:3 no matter what measurements you are using -- it's universal).

1/3 = the model is 1/3 (one third) the size of real life, the same as 1:3 (also universal).

1'-3" = 3 inches in the model is 1 foot in the real world, not the same as 1:3 or 1/3 because the units CHANGE (foot versus inch) -- please note you HAVE to use feet and inches (NOT universal). This sometimes written as 1'=3" as well.

SDs are 1:3, 1/3, or 1'-4" (also known as "four-inch scale")
MSDs are 1:4, 1/4, or 1'-3" (also known as "three-inch scale"
Barbies are 1:6, 1/6, or 1'-2" (also known as "two-inch scale")
Dollhouses are 1:12, 1/12, or 1'-1" (also known as "one-inch scale")
Tiny matchbox cars are 1:64, 1/64, or 1'-3/16" scale (1'-0.1875") (also know as "three-sixteenths inch scale")

Please note that with 1:3 and 1/3, as the second number (the 3 in this example) gets larger, the model gets smaller. With 1'-3" or 1'=3", as the second number (again, the 3 in this example) gets larger, the model gets larger. 1:144 and 1/144 are extremely tiny, but 1'-144" would be twelve times real-life size size!

Working with a 6 ft [aka 72 inch] person:
In 1:3 scale, the doll would be 2 ft [aka 24 inches]. Each 1 of the 24 inches represents 3 inches in the real world, 24 x 3 = 72. This corresponds to "SD-size."
In 1/3 scale, the doll would be 2 ft [aka 24 inches]. The doll is one-third the size of the real model, so 72 ÷ 3 = 24. This corresponds to "SD-size."
In 1'-3" scale, the doll would be 1.5 ft [aka 18 inches]. Each foot in the real world is 3 inches in the model, so 6 x 3 = 18. This correponds to "MSD-size."

If you used 1:144 or 1/144, your 6ft man is a teeny half-inch tall. If you used 1'-144", your 6ft man is a massive 72 FEET tall! This is why using the right scale (and writing it correctly) are so important. Don't mix them!

Yay math!

Obligatory Crappy New Doll Photos

2009-07-08T03:34:07Z

I have a new doll, and thus I have taken the obligatory, totally crap first photos, which I have shooped the hell out of. She is a Rosette Good Afternoon Fir. I really, REALLY hate the lashes and am going to have to take them out and replace them with something less spidery. She also has several marks and scratches (shooped out) that resulted from her arriving with her faceplate totally detached from her head and just rolling around loose inside the box. Rosette is dragging their heels about getting back to me about a replacement, which is making me pretty irritated.

...otherwise, damn, I do love this doll. Her expression is so perfect. No name for the girl yet, though.

Thank you, CNN

2009-05-22T19:30:58Z

"A survey conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that white evangelical Christians are more likely to support torture than people who rarely or never attend religious services."

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/05/22/torture.christian/index.html

Interesting.

Required Reading

2009-04-21T05:58:07Z

I am never sleeping with another man again, unless he reads this first [nsfw].

Emphasis on ALL OF THEM.

While a friend and I were discussing said article and the various things female genitalia can be compared to (peaches, honey pot, taco, clam, beaver, etc), I came up with the following comment, which amused me enough to share:

"Mine is like a Confucian hermit: STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING CAVE UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN ENLIGHTENED"

Fiona Apple Again!

2009-04-11T01:24:12Z

I don't know if you were like me, and absolutely loved Fiona Apple back in the day -- that mellow, smoky voice that just rolls around you like velvet. It had something you don't hear a lot these days: soul. No bubblegum here, folks.

Well, she's recorded a new song (maybe it's not that new, but it's new to me at least!). Just close your eyes and listen to this one. It really transports you to another time, and another place. Just beautiful.

Cute Materialistic Stuff

2009-03-23T02:33:02Z

Pro: I have been making an attempt not to buy new dolls or doll clothing, since I just purchased a large amount of Cheerydoll and Azone stuff not that long ago.

Con: I have been spending a lot of time browsing HLJ and finding cute things I'd like to buy. These are significantly less expensive that dolls and doll clothing, but significantly more useless -- just cute clutter.

So what do I want?

Hidamari no Tami!

These things are cute! I have a Flip Flap that I bought in Paris's Chinatown (which I later found out was a fake, but I still think it's all levels of cute -- thought I wouldn't have bought it if I knew it was a fake), and a Hidamari no Tami Spirital Stone Aventurine, which currently sits on top of my television and makes me happy. I'm wondering if I want to add an authentic Flip Flap to my collection, or another Hidamari no Tami... Within the Spirital Stone collection, there's still Rose Quartz, Tiger Eye, and Rock Crystal. There's a bunch more available outside of HLJ, but I do prefer ordering from HLJ -- cheaper and guaranteed authentic.

Fraulein!

A new discovery of mine, Fraulein are like tiny Obitsus: super-poseable female figurines. You can swap faces and hands, too, to add some fun variety. Currently all the Fraulein available are anime characters from animes I've never watched, but that doesn't stop me from loving the cute! I really like Fraulein Haruhi -- seriously, she's a Bunny Girl. What's not to like? I also like Fraulein Rin Tohsaka (apparently from Fate/Stay Night?), primarily for the cute outfit and pigtails. Last is Haruka Hasegawa, and I have no idea what she's from. I would swap in a different face, but I love the outfit and the wine bottle, hee!

Someone help me decide (a) if I should get a Fraulein and, if so, (b) which Fraulein(s?) should I get??? I'm most tempted by these little cuties.

Walkie Bits!

This combines my love of cute turtles, small things that move, and keychains. I've always been tempted to get a Walkie Bits, and putting them in keychain form is just plain evil. There's a pink and a blue version, too, but I prefer the green.

Jellyfish Mood Lamp

Completely and totally pointless... but full of itty bitty jellyfishies! I have no idea where I'd put this, though, but I find it adorable. Maybe in my bedroom...

Inanimate Character Stickers

The cheapest item on my want list, these stickers are sooo cute. I doubt my office would be okay with them, but I could certainly use them at home? Hmm...

Anyone have any other really cute, not-totally-but-rather-only-slightly useless things I should look at?

Also. Seriously. Fraulein? Do I get one? Halp!

Frustrated and Ranting -- As Usual

2009-03-06T07:29:33Z

I think my job is turning me into someone I don't want to be. I'm pretty sure 25 is too young to be burned-out, isn't it?

The busy season is just beginning to heat up, and it already feels like I'm drowning. I'm so much more negative and intolerant than I used to be; it seems like all I can do is complain and bitch and rant. I'm exhausted all the time. I'm exhausted when I wake up, I'm exhausted when I get to work, I'm exhausted when I get home, and I'm exhausted when I go to bed. Except I don't sleep; I've never had a problem sleeping before, but now I'm an insomniac. It's not just a physical exhaustion, it's this deep down to the bone exhaustion that clouds everything.

Ugh, and even now all I can do is complain. I wish I knew how to fix this. Maybe seeing Deneb this weekend will help cheer things up... and I hope Christina comes down during her Spring Break. I wonder if it's even worth trying to look for a new job in this economy.

Winter Flurries

2009-03-01T03:10:41Z

Bethesda -- who finally has a name -- received a new outfit today, so these are the obligatory new outfit photos. I wanted to take them out in the snow, but all of our snow is dirty and grey, so she ended up indoors. Perhaps as a result, I used these photos to try different methods of editing them, to see what the result might be. Let me know if anything is particularly good and I should attempt to do it again?

I'm totally in love with this outfit. It's so cute. And, of course, I'm totally in love with Bethesda. She's probably second in line, after Cosmina, in my collection. Everything about her is just right: her petite body, her pretty face, her calm expression, her delicate hands... Eventually I will get her sister, a PW Skiya, and I'm determined to have Lyn (who painted Beth) to paint her as well.

Whew! You made it all the way to the bottom. Thanks for looking!

True Beauty -- True Idiocy

2009-02-17T03:50:16Z

True Beauty drives me absolutely crazy. I absolutely adore Julia. She's passed every single test with flying colors; she's never NOT helped someone (given, I missed one episode, so maybe she flubbed there, but in all the episodes I've seen, she's the only one who HASN'T fucked up on at least one of the judges' cheesy-ass "tests"). She is a nice girl. She is a sweet, honest, down-to-earth, NICE girl. And she is gorgeous. GORGEOUS. She has always been my #1 in terms of physical beauty. She's just so cute! I would bang her in a hot second, and I wouldn't let any of the other contestants touch me with even one of their sleazy fingers.

But everyone keeps calling her "fake," as if no one could possibly be THAT nice. It drives me crazy. When did nice = fake on a show that's supposed to be about inner beauty? I want to smash these judges in their 15-minutes-of-fame-is-over faces with a sledgehammer. The truth is, people can be THAT nice. Heather in high school really was THAT nice. I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone, even her cheating-ass boyfriend when their relationship crashed and burned in flames. Laura at college. Laura was pretty as a Barbie doll, blonde, blue-eyed, body to DIE for, rich, designer clothes, graceful, and the center of attention at all times. She could have been a total bitch-whore-diva from hell, but she was the sweetest, kindest little thing you ever did see in a children's book. She was THAT nice. So it makes me so angry when everyone keeps calling Julia fake because she's THAT nice. Dammit!

Also, could someone explain the deal with Laura? The judges keep talking about how pretty she is... maybe I'm wired wrong. She's... just okay. She's not someone who would make me look twice (now Julia, I'd look about 1,000 times). Laura is just so generic. There's nothing distinct or gorgeous about her, other than her eternal slutitude. Which, now that I think about it, isn't distinct or gorgeous either. It's justy generic slut. I feel like I've seen her in every porno every made.

BJD Meme!

2009-02-05T18:55:23Z

1. How many dolls do you have:
I can't believe it, but I have 5 BJDs...

2. What are their names:
Cosmina & Corensa (the twins), Rhone, Bethesda, and little Miss Yet-to-be-Named

3. What are their molds:
Cosmina & Corensa are both CH Special Prayer Choas (otherwise known as the CH Bu-Yong Choas); Rhone is a CH Chowon girl, Bethesda is a PW Goldie, and no-name is a CH Yeondu.

4. How long have you been in the BJD hobby:
Cosmina arrived on Valentine's Day, 2007, so it's been almost exactly 1 year since I became "active" in the BJD hobby. I was first interested in BJDs around the time I purchased my first Pullips, in late 2005.

5. Do you RP? If so, who is/was your favorite character to RP with:
I do roleplay, but certainly not with my dolls.

6. Who is/was your favorite person to RP with:
It used to be Will/Sara, but... Don't get me started.

7. How many dolls have you ever sold:
Not including dolls that I purchased for the specific purpose of splitting and reselling (i.e., I purchased a whole CH Sia, then sold the head and kept the body for Rhone), only my Domadoll Goni. The funny thing is the primary reason I sold her was because she couldn't wear high-heels. High-heels are a total necessity for my dolls.

8. Out of all of those, who do you miss the most:
I don't miss Goni at all. I'm happy she's in a new home.

9. What is your favorite thing in this hobby:
I totally have to steal Skwerlie's reply: "All the pretty."

10. Who is the first BJD that ever entered your house/that you ever saw in real life:
An unpainted DOT dreaming/sleeping Shall, who totally creeped me out.

11. Who is the first BJD you ever fell in love with:
The DOT Shall full-set, when she first came out. The love did not last, though. I doubt I'll ever purchase any DOT doll.

12. What is the most you've spent on a doll (the actual doll itself):
Approximately $950-$1,000 on Cosmina (she's a full-set one-of-a-kind). I don't regret a penny of it, I absolutely adore Cosmina. There's no contest at all, she's the favorite of my dolls.

13. What is your favorite photoshoot/photo you ever took of any of your dolls:
The photoshoot of Cosmina in her white "Marilyn Monroe" dress, surrounded by rose petals.

14. What is your funniest memory with any of your dolls:
Hmm. Probably shopping for mini-machine-guns for Rhone, when she was in her mafia-phase (I may still get one for her, just for the heck of it...).

15. What is your saddest memory with any of your dolls:
Probably opening up Corensa and discovering she had a rub mark in her LE face-up.

16. Have you ever had a dream about your doll? If so, what was it about:
None that I can remember, at least.

17. Which BJD out of yours would you never sell in a million years:
Cosmina (duh).

18. Name one thing that makes you erked in the BJD hobby:
The CBAB-type people with the raging egos and the giant mouths that shoot off at the slightest provocation, nevermind they're disphits who have committed most of the "crimes" they're complaining about.

19. Would you ever consider "leaving" the hobby:
I suppose I would leave the hobby if I got bored with it or if I were in a situation where I could no longer afford it, but so far I haven't really contemplated it.

20. Who is the newest character you've thought up:
My dolls don't have characters, actually. Just names. But no characters.

Difficult Difficult Difficult

2009-02-02T00:54:25Z

Rhone drives me batty. She's such a lovely doll... but she's not photogenic. At all. I don't know what it is, but she turns out terrible in photographs. I think these three portrait shots (two more behind the cut) managed to turn out all right, but in general, Rhone looks at least 4x better in real life than in photos.

This one I took earlier in the day, when the light was different. It shows how much her skin tone can vary, depending on the light. This is closer to the color her resin actually is -- very pale and sugar.

Is this my song?

2009-01-23T06:20:27Z

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

[CHORUS:]
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

[CHORUS]

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

I'm about half-way through The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

Still on my book list are Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and then Virginia Woolf's own A Room of One's Own, in addition to Where the Girls Are: Growing Up Female with the Mass Media and The Second Sex. Don't despair, though, my reading list isn't entirely feminist works: despite my hatred of John Steinbeck, I have The Grapes of Wrath on my list, as well as There Are No Children Here, The Hot Zone, and Bad Blood: The Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment.

It's strange, how my tastes have changed. I have trouble remembering the last sci-fi/fantasy book I read... perhaps Dead After Dark which, despite how much I like True Blood, was a bit of a disappointment. Maybe I'll read the next book in the series after the next season of True Blood is finished (Fall 2009?). I don't know what happened; I simply do not want to read about overcoming that Great Evil (TM) or meeting one's True Love (c). I can't believe it anymore; my mind screams "This isn't true, this is all false, all wrong!" with each page. I want truth. I want ugly, petty, unfair, tangled truth, with all its unhappy endings and unfinished stories.

Maybe it's because I think it -- and, perhaps, I -- won't be okay?

;_______________;

2009-01-15T04:13:09Z

IT'S SO COLD RIGHT NOW, THE SNOW IS WARMER THAN THE AIR.

Per the nightly news, a thermometer stuck in the snow in Madison reads 0°F.

A thermometer held up in the air reads -6°F.

SNOW SHOULD NEVER BE WARMER THAN SOMETHING ELSE.
SNOW SHOULD NEVER BE WARMER THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

It's so cold, that in the time it took me to hurry from the door to my car, my snot froze.

My snot froze. While it was still INSIDE MY NOSE.

OHMYGODSOMEONEPLZSAVEMENAO. PLZ. PLZ. PLLLLLZ.

BOOBS! ---> ( . )( . )

2009-01-13T07:05:13Z

I keep waking up topless.

...
....
.....
......
.......

Did that get your attention? I hope so. Because it's true. I go to bed with a shirt on. I wake up without a shirt on.

I have no idea what's going on here. Since it's winter, I'm wearing long-sleeved shirts, usually with cuffs at the wrists and small collars. These are not exactly tube tops you can accidentally squirm out of while sleeping. It takes a definite, conscious action to remove these shirts. Besides, it's not like I'm waking up with my shirt tangled up with the covers, or fallen on the side of my bed. Oh, no, that would be too normal. I wake up with my shirt hanging out on the other side of my bedroom.

The thing is, I have no memory of taking my shirt off, either. First, I'm the type of person who remembers waking up to take a sip of water, or put on chapstick, or lotion my hands, or even re-adjust my pillows. It seems pretty illogical that I'd remember re-adjusting my pillows, but not taking off my shirt. Second, I have no history of sleep-walking, sleep-talking, sleep-eating, sleep-anything. I pretty much lie like a rock when I'm asleep. I don't really thrash or roll about; I wake up on the same side of the bed that I fell asleep on.

What the hell is going on?

True Beauty: Ep 2 (Who are these judges?)

2009-01-13T05:09:01Z

So there was a lot of forced drama which was pointless and boring (bad! reality tv should NOT BE BORING!), and CJ had no shoes but wasn't eliminated, and Ashley looked like Ashley Simpson and was sent home, and everyone hates Chelsea even though she hasn't done anything all that heinous (other than her daily make-up job, which is a true crime), Billy is orange and likes protein shakes, and... OH GOD, WHAT ARE THOSE MONSTERS?! THE JUDGES ARE HIDEOUS!

That's all I can really say. I tried to talk about it, but words fail. I'm not sure I can keep reviewing episodes. The judges are so much worse than any of the contestants... I feel like the contestants should be giving them fashion (and acting) tips.

True Beauty: Ep 1 (Who are these people?)

2009-01-06T05:39:27Z

HAHAHAHA I'M COPYING YOU hooveraardvark! I SHALL STEAL ALL YOUR BRILLIANT IDEAS!

Actually... there's just something about the Tyra shows that demand review. Maybe it's the sheer ridiculousness of it all? There's always something so cheesy about them, but it's an entertaining kind of cheesy...

tl;dr - For a show named "True Beauty," these people are shockingly ugly. Also, is ABC a racist (or am I one)?

Okay, in case you didn't know, here's the premise of this show: supposedly (I emphasize the "supposedly") beautiful people are invited to a reality show contest wherein the most beautiful one will win $100k, a photoshoot, a tiny white poodle, and a cup of macaroni. But, ha-HA, the secret twist is that they're actually being judged on both outer and inner beauty. So essentially, it's the modern version of Miss World, but in cheap reality show form where none of the contestants are nearly as beautiful as the Miss World contestants, nor have they done even a tenth of those women's charitable efforts. And I don't even like Miss World (I do admire their impressive contributions to society, however -- there was one South American contest this year who did some amazing hospital charity work).

Basically what happens is they have a challenge which puts the 2 physically "ugliest" (according to the standards of that day's challenge) in the hot seat, and then the one with the most "inner beauty" is saved. Then, as a final twist, they reveal to the eliminated contest that they're actually being judged on inner beauty, too! Basically, they tell the person that they're ugly and mean, then boot them. Kind of like when you're dumping a shitty ex.

This time around, they were rated on some beauty scale that ranked them from 0-100, with 85 being "good looking" and 95 being "super star." Only two got 95, and I don't think anyone got less than 85... I didn't keep track of the scores, honestly, and ABC hasn't posted them yet.

ONWARDS!

Chelsea Bush (no relation to Dubuya?)

Wow... how do you manage to look that old, worn, and used up by 21? This woman looks 41, not 21, and I'm pretty sure she's fast-tracking her way to skin cancer. Has anyone ever seen "Death Becomes Her"? Remember that scene at the end, when their skin is peeling off and falling off in chunks? Chelsea reminds me of that. She's also about as real as a Barbie doll, so it was no shocker that she ended up in the bottom 2 in the very first episode. She did get "saved," though, since she was nice enough to open the door for a guy with his arms full.

(Also, is it just me, or does she look a little transvestite-ish?)

Julia Anderson (no relation to Pamela?)

Such a cutie! Julia is a beauty pageant girl, and it shows. She might not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but she's learned manners and charm up there on that stage. And she lights up like a little lightbulb! I love her dorky little mouth, I'm sure she lost points for "thin lips" (it seemed like that was a big source of lost points), but omg, I think her mouth is the cutest thing ever. She's pretty much the only girl out of the bunch I'd ever consider doing. I know she's not going to win -- there's no way they're going to let the beauty pageant girl win, just not enough twist there -- but I wish she could. So cute!

Monique Santiago

This is my #2 girl on the show, looks-wise. She's got that androgyny that's so popular on ANTM... I really feel like she was cast on the wrong show. Monique is introduced as a "college graduate," and says that her major is biology. She then reaches over, grabs one of the guy's arms, squeezes his muscle, and says "Oh... that's so nice. I don't know what that's called!"

At which point one of the other girls points out it's called a "bicep." How the hell do you not know what a bicep is, especially if you majored in a biology... don't they require anatomy as part of biology anymore?! This is why I can't bring myself to love Monique. She's actually really lovely, but I think I'd rather have a conversation with a box of rocks. But she doesn't seem horrendously bitchy for her, so #2 for her.

Billy Jeffrey

My favorite guy, probably because he's "old" -- it allows me to believe he might actually have some emotionally maturity, though he probably doesn't. For the curious, he's one of the two guys who was scored at 95. How, I'm not entirely sure, as I don't really find him that attractive... just kind of average. I'm not sure what else to say about this one... he sells vitamins? I think I like him best only best only in the sense that he's totally bland and inoffensive, as well as generally unremarkable, not that he's actually good. He's just the least annoying, and gets the #1 spot by default.

CJ Miller

CJ is a close #2 in the guys category for me. I don't actually find him attractive, and I'm actually put off by his loud-mouthed assholery. However, he did three things that actually impressed me. #1, he argued that you can't judge beauty based on the symmetry of someone's face or the proportion of their body, and while everyone was on pins-and-needles waiting to hear their beauty numbers, he actually requested not to hear his (they told him anyway). #2, when one of the judges told him to stfu and just take the number into considerate, he nodded, said he would... and stfu'ed. A MILLION POINTS TO CJ FOR TAKING CRITICISM GRACEFULLY. #3, he was fat as a kid, and he actually writes about how shitty the teasing made him feel. So even though I don't enjoy the manner in which CJ expresses himself, I actually do enjoy the content.

Joel Rush

The beauty doctor actually compared Joel to Brad Pitt, to which I say: are you fucking blind? Joel is hands-down the ugliest guy on the show for me. His eyes are so squinty and close together, it's like someone squished his face in. However, he hated Chelsea from the minute he met her, so I have to give him some credit for his ability to spot white trash.

Hi, I'm an asshole!

Actually, his name is Ray Seitz, but I have never met a guy who looked like this and wasn't a flaming, raging asshole -- and he is no exception. He's the rule. Arrogant prick, full of himself, etc, etc, etc. I'm done talking about this one. He's a walking stereotype, and infinitely boring.

Ashley Michaelson

Ashley brought $30k worth of dresses to the contest with her. But apparently she didn't have any room left in her suitcase for a personality, so she left that at home.

Laura Leigh

Honestly, I remember even less about Laura than I do about Ashley, except I think she might have been the one who said she'd never done dishes before. Yeah, I think she was the one who didn't realize that washing dishes involved more than running water over them -- say, actually scrubbing at them with a sponge? I don't know. I don't care. Can we eliminate her already?

Hadiyyah-lah Sa'id

First of all, what is this woman doing on this show? She looks all right in her glamor shot, but she's actually fantastically ugly. Skinny horse-face, huge flat nose, sunken eyes, continual scowl, inability to use concealer, and the worst disposition known to man.

Which brings me to my second point -- and this is where I worry I sound like a racist bitch, but it has to be said. Why do so many black women seemed to be blighted with this particular personality? It's a downright hideous combination of absolute arrogance (I am the best/prettiest/most athletic/etc), a complete inability to take criticism (lashing out against even the slightest criticism and absolutely refusing with the most venom possible to make any suggested improvement whatsoever), a continual sulk the very second things don't go even the slightest bit their way (usually accompanied about how it's "no fair" and how they really deserved their way, ala TOTAL VICTIM MODE), and a continuous need to blab in the loudest voice possible, preferably using as much slang and expletives as possible. I have a co-worker who is black who has this EXACT PERSONALITY. I've run into this exact personality at least a dozen times now, and it has been, without a single exception, nothing but black women.

I'm not saying white women are perfect starry happy personality queens -- we have white trash, WASPs, Jewish princesses, Paris Hiltons, and a host of other equally disgusting personalities running rampant -- but this particular "black personality" (not to say it's the personality of ALL black women, as I have met some incredibly smart, enchanting, and thoughtful black women) seems to be the most self-destructive. WASPs can still be successful. Jewish princesses can still get nice paying jobs. Paris Hilton is a major success. But my co-worker, who is going on her 5th year of employment, has never and will never be promoted... because her attitude is crap (most people either get promoted or fired within their first 18 months). Why? Why have I never run into this attitude in any white, Asian, Native American, French, Argentine, Mexican, anything-but-black woman? And why does it seem so common in black women?

Anyway, Hayayayayayaya was told she was in the bottom two, and promptly freaked out. She threw a giant hissy fit, insisted she was beautiful, refused to accept the results, pronounced she was the hottest thing of ALL TIME, and kept repeating how it was "no fair." Then at the "Hall of Beauty" or wtf it's called, when the judges confronted her about her nasty behavior (making fun of cutie Julia in the house, looking through other people's supposedly "confidential" medical files, refusing to open a door for a guy with his hands full), she argued with them. IT WAS ON TAPE, and she argued about how she had a big heart, and how that wasn't really her, and how she was one big victim in this EVIL PLOT, as if fighting vociferously with them would somehow change their mind (she kept interrupting and all but insulting the judges, way to get on their good side) -- btw, my co-worker does this, too, whenever someone attempts to correct her work, she argues that she actually did it correctly and we're wrong, and we're not being fair, and why do we always have to "bring her down" like that, as if we're somehow insulting her on a personal level by pointing out she assigned the wrong budget code to an invoice? Ugh.

Anyway, I can't figure out if I'm a racist or not. I have no problem with black people (I loves me some Obama, and Whitney, and Monique, and Queen Latifah). I do have this problem with this particular personality, and I do associate it with black women, and I absolutely hate it.

Anyway, Hayayayayaya got eliminated, so not more Black Bitch of the West for us.

And that's it!

Also, the website for "True Beauty" is COATED in ads for weight-loss gimmicks. BLOLOLOLOLOL.

Epic FAIL

2009-01-03T01:46:46Z

tl;dr -- I apply for a new job. They want me to take 20 hours worth of vacation, a QUARTER of my YEARLY VACATION ALLOTMENT, over the course of 3 interviews for a job I'm not guaranteed to get. I tell them to shove it!

On October 22nd, I e-mailed a cover letter and my resume to Epic.

On November 4th, Epic contacted me regarding a phone interview, which took place on November 10th. This involved a 30 minute personality/logic assessment, and another 30 minutes speaking with HR. Because this interview was scheduled in the middle of the afternoon, I had to take approximately 3 hours off work for this interview (30 minute drive from work to home, 15 minutes to review my CL and CV, 30 minute interview, at which point it was 3:45pm, so I could have driven 30 minutes to to work... and done 45 minutes of work before turning around and driving 30 minutes home again).

On November 13th, they contacted me about a full-day, on-site interview. This was scheduled for Monday, November 24th, and required a full vacation day (8 hours). It lasted from 9am until 5:30pm.

On December 12th, Epic calls to tell me they liked me quite a lot, but they actually don't have any openings in the areas they interviewed me for (which leads me to wonder why they're interviewing people for departments that are not currently hiring? they didn't say the positions had been filled; they said they did not have any openings at all). They ask if I would come back for a 2nd interview, for two different positions. I was told this 2nd on-site interview would only take "a few hours."

On December 17th, they e-mail me to schedule my 2nd on-site interview. My "few hours" interview is from 9am until 3:30pm (that would be 6.5 hours). I e-mailed them back to remind them that I had already done 5 of the 7 activities scheduled. Epic e-mails me back to say they were wrong, I will only need to do the 2 activities I have not done before. I ask them for a new schedule.

Epic e-mails me back. My "shortened" interview is 9:30am to 3:30pm (6 hours). Uh... what? Two activities (one of which is shorter than 30 minutes) need six hours? And how did removing 5 activities only remove 30 minutes?

If I did this 2nd interview, it would be another full vacation day (8 hours), because Epic is a 45 minute drive from my work. I could literally go to work from 8:30-8:45 (15 minutes!), then leave, and come back that afternoon at 4:15pm to work 45 minutes, then go home. Which work would absolutely not let me do, since I'd be coming in for less an hour each time. They would make me take a full vacation day, and not come in at all.

I have already spent 11 hours of vacation time interviewing for Epic. I am not about to spend another 8 hours -- bringing the total amount to 19 hours of vacation. That is nearly 25%, or one-fourth, of my total vacation time FOR THE YEAR. What the hell?! I am not spending a QUARTER of my YEARLY VACATION interviewing for this job. I am just not. It's ridiculous.

Finally today I e-mailed Epic and told them, essentially, they need to figure out how to fit these two activities in a single morning or a single afternoon. If they cannot, I told them to pull my resume. I'm done with this shit. I really am. And it's their loss. I'm a total workaholic, a perfectionist, and a people-pleaser, which means I'm a great employee. I work hard, I turn in perfect work, and I make sure to keep my co-workers and superiors happy.

To be honest, the Epic has really impressed me -- with its high level of INCOMPETENCY. I swear, just about everyone I've met at Epic has been absolutely incompetent. The guy who did my phone interview was very put together and polite, and the guy I interviewed with on-site was also pretty put together (but he didn't strike me as brilliant), but the rest... Sweet geezuhs. The girls who gave the overview of Epic couldn't figure out that if you want 25 people to sit down in a room, you should have 25 chairs... not 15. The person who did the software overview kept making the system give him error messages, and could not explain parts of the programming. The person who was supposed to escort us to lunch wandered off, and left the group of 6 or so interviewees standing around wondering wtf we ought to do. The person who tested me couldn't figure out what to do when his memory stick got an angry error message from the computer -- and was shocked with my idea that I just save my work to the, gasp, desktop.

Just not impressed. Or happy, to be honest. I think I'll stick with my current job, kthnxbai.

Sweet Sunshine & Mimosas

2008-12-24T04:07:27Z

Mimosa is dressed up in her holiday best, bringing more sunshine your way!

Touch of Summer Sunshine

2008-12-21T01:00:12Z

Today it snowed.

And snowed.

And snowed.

Grey skies, white snow, grey streets, white yards... Mimosa just wouldn't have it!

So she brought her own sunshine.

This is public, just to annoy you.

2008-12-09T07:27:30Z

Okay, there were a lot of things that annoyed me about Vegas, but one of them had nothing to do with the city itself.

Bunny's head whipping around like weather vane in a cyclone, back and forth, back and forth, like he was being worried by a jack russell fucking terrier with ADHD, while I tried to watch the Viva Vision show on Fremont Street. Look, I know you have no interest in the trippy music videos playing overhead. Feign interest for five goddamn minutes, or at least leave me alone so I can enjoy the show, because I actually like it.

Bunny walking past a neon sign with "The Venetian," opening doors with large V's on them, walking past another sign reading "Venetian," and then asking me what casino we were in. Uh, it's decorated like Italy, hmmm, maybe it's Circus Circus? Or the Sahara?

Bunny commenting that he thought the Wynn Las Vegas was really "old." Really? You mean the newest megaresort on the Strip, that opened in 2005, seems "old"? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I forgot you're so inexperienced that you can't tell the difference between "luxurious" and "old." It can't be that you're older than me. Surely I'm not your girlfriend. I'm your babysitter, right?

Bunny, after I had said directly to him that he was supposed to comfort me and calm me down, shrugging and saying "Meh, Bunny's just quiet." Thanks, asshole. I was having a panic attack. Which you made me deal with on my own. While I was driving unfamiliar, winding roads. Panic attack. Very romantic.

Bunny not buying me a single thing (for my, uh, birthday) even though I brought him a present (Runaway Bunny boxed set, book & little stuffed rabbit, $25). Yes, you heard me. For my birthday, I bought someone else a present, and he got me ZIP. Even though there were plenty of occasions -- my KÀ program ($15), the Cirque du Soleil canvas bag I was admiring ($20), the Cirque du Soleil purse I spent like 20 minutes looking at ($64), the jewelry I was looking at the Lost City Museum ($10-$30), the bubble bath I wanted at Bath & Body Works ($10), the stuffed sheep I wanted at Bath & Body Works ($6 for 2), etc. -- I didn't get a single present. I ended up buying myself half the things I wanted (KÀ program, CdS purse, bubble bath). Happy birthday to me!

Bunny being such a downer after the KÀ show. In all honesty, I regret asking for my dad to pay for his tickets. They were $125 a pop (plus a $4 processing fee each) and Bunny did NOT deserve it. He barely appreciated the show (cretin!), and when we came out and I was excited and bouncy about it, he was a fucking leaden weight. I'm sitting here being all excited and happy and using words like "awesome" and "amazing" and "breathtaking" and "incredble," and he shrugs and says it was "pretty good" in a leaden voice. You do not deserve theatre, you pissant.

Bunny, after I had complained numerous times about how hard it was to drive in the rain, asking me if I wanted to take a "scenic drive" while it was fucking pouring (note: I was the only driver on the rental agreement, since Bunny's driving terrifies me -- which meant, for a "scenic drive," I would have to drive). Seriously, were you listening to me at all? I don't like driving in the rain, so you're suggesting I... drive in the rain?

All in all, it was like Bunny had "checked out" -- emotionally, psychologically, and mentally, he just wasn't there. He never got excited about anything. It was as if "glee" were some foreign concept he'd never run into and couldn't process. Every time I got really happy at something, he downplayed it, as if my joy were somehow a bad or inappropriate thing that had to be stopped. He wasn't sensitive about anything -- yes, I was really cranky and bitchy the first two days, and was meaner to you than I should have been, but this was my vacation and it was pouring, and you didn't need to act like a 12-year-old boy and take it personally -- and didn't pick up on any hints. Not to mention that, yes, I'm incredibly pissed that I was having a full-blown panic attack and it felt like my heart was imploding, and he just shrugged at me when I directly asked him for help. Cannot. Emphasize. How. Very. Very. Pissed. I. Am. Panic attack. Seriously. P-a-n-i-c A-t-t-a-c-k.

And he was just... dumb. Even though I read my guidebook on the plane, and he'd told me he'd read his significantly in advance, he couldn't work out whether a particular megaresort was in the northern, middle, or southern portion of the Strip. He'd look at a sign that said "Silverado Ranch Boulevard" and then read out loud "Silver Gate Road." He seemed to be totally ignorant of things I would call "common sense" -- he'd say something like "If the restaurant was that busy on Thursday night, it must be really crazy on the weekends," nevermind that particular Thursday was, uh, Thanksgiving in a major tourist destination and not at all representative of an average Thursday. Or he'd say something like "I can't believe traffic was that insane on a Wednesday afternoon," except of course, it was the Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving and we were driving within blocks of the city's main airport, and traffic near any airport on the day before a major holiday is always insane.

Lastly, he's really cynical -- but it's like a totally faux-cynicism, not the deep and sort of wise cynicism that comes from being jaded by the world, but the teenage cynicism that comes from reading about shit on the internet. I'm sorry. You can read all you want about something, but unless you experience it, you'll never really know it. A person could spend their whole life reading about Paris, but unless they actually visit the city, I'll know the "essence" of Paris way better than they ever could because I experienced it, I lived there, I breathed it, ate it, walked it, got it under my skin and in my blood. He seemed so sheltered and young to me, and it made me feel old, kind of like I was holding a child's hand, or being a babysitter or a teacher. I want a relationship with an equal, not with someone who makes me feel like the "experienced one." Bunny, seriously, give up your paranoia and your narcissism, and LIVE. Get out of your comfort zone, which it seems you've never even tried to leave, and GET DOWN AND DIRTY WITH LIFE. Despite all this shit, we could still be friends, but unless you backpack across Tibet or something, we could never be lovers.

So yeah, I'm single now. Single.

And seriously considering trying to be a lesbian, as opposed to bisexual (I know you can't really choose your sexuality and it's biological, and I can't force myself to not be turned on by attractive guys, but I can actively choose to not date men). I am just having shit luck with men, they all feel mentally so very young, naive, and inexperienced to me. Mom says I just need to give up and, like, date a guy in the 35-45 range (I'm 25). I dunno. Suggestions?